What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

True - how I loved my mum!

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

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“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

How do I deal with autistic burnout/meltdown/shutdown when cooking?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

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Do you know what she said mum?

What do you mean son?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

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Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What! how could you do that?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!